"All those white folk there havin' a ball."

I hate the mall.

I went in today for three things: 1) a Murikami book for my little brother's birthday, 2) a mini desk recorder, even though I'm not really sure what that is, and 3) a plug for my hand-me-down digital camera, so I can finally upload the photos of me drunk in my Halloween costume.

What I got: 1) a plug that doesn't work, 2) a clueless staff member at The Source who didn't know what a mini-disk recorder was and sales associates at both bookstores who had never heard of Murikami, 3) screaming children, tacky Christmas everything, Santa Claus, line-ups, more screaming children, and 4)really annoyed. I hate the mall.

I'm going to go Adbusters here. I know we're sick of hearing it by now, but considering the overwhelming popularity of crap we don't need, there is obviously still a need to remind people that IT'S CRAP WE DON'T NEED! And the thing is, we really do believe we need whichever item of said crap happens to be on today's shopping list: a new dress for that party, a basket for the living room, another pair of shoes. We don't.

Before the Halloween party this year I dragged a new friend into Zellers for a last-minute costume accessory: pink tights. (No, I didn't need pink tights. I know.)

"My, you are an efficient shopper!" he remarked, chasing me through the aisles of Halloween candy and pillows and women's underpants.

"Yes," I said. "I hate shopping."

"Really?" he replied, in his always-animated-like-Robin-Williams voice. "All shopping? Even clothes shopping?"

"Yes," I said. "I think it's stupid."

"Oh." Silence.

I couldn't help but laugh out loud when I realized he didn't have a clue how to respond to that. Apparently not many women in his life feel that way.

Needless to say, we're still getting to know each other.

Anyway, I'm going to have to go back to the mall to return the plug. It's on the floor near the door so I won't forget about, where it's likely to get covered up by all the crap I don't need that's lying around this joint.