A gay old time in "Funtreal"

After four months of living 2 hours away from Montreal - or Funtreal, as my play-on-words-loving pal Brianna decided to re-name it - I finally made it down for a night. Went to a charming hole-in-the-wall Brazilian restaurant where I was serenaded by a lovely Brazilian dude with a moustache (see below) and an extremely eclectic range of musical influences, much to my delight. Also got my dance on, but was very sad that they'd switched from baby Michael and Stevie Wonder to Latino beats by the time I checked my coat and hit the dance floor, beer in hand. Talk about a let down. Still, jolly good time.

Credit for the pic goes to my friend Brianna. I think.

Who wants to buy an electric toothbrush?

No, seriously. I won the goddamn thing at the Baute Christmas gift exchange, and each time I used it it terrifies me. Why would I want to feel like the dentist is probing around in my mouth twice a day?

Oh, yeah. It's used. Just a little.

...I'll cut you a good deal?

What Makes a Cartoon New Yorker-Worthy?

This entertained me today. I've often wondered on what basis the New Yorker decides to publish various cartoons. I have to admit, sometimes I feel like I just don't get it. Although that's probably the point...Anyway, check out this article in the Washington Post about how the New Yorker cartoon editors do their job.

Zoom. Zoom. And more zoom.

Thanks to this video, my kid brother has now added flying to the list of evil and destructive consumer behaviours he refuses to partake in - a list that previously consisted of drinking alcohol or coffee, eating meat or chocolate...basically all the good things in life. But in all honesty, the video says a lot about modern day transportation. And pollution, if you can push yourself to consider the consequences of so many friggin' airplanes shooting non-stop back and forth across the planet. It's true that by flying on any given day an individual can pollute more effectively than by any other means. Yaay disposable income!
The sad thing about this video, as my little brother pointed out, is that a lot of people who watch it probably just think it is cool. Nevermind what it's actually showing us in terms of environmental costs. Scary, but true.

This cat has nine lives.

After Christmas, lounging in a makeshift bedroom in the den in my parents' farmhouse, I got around to checking out Second Life, the 3d virtual online world that gives regular Janes and Joes a chance to do it all over again. Sort of. Each user creates their own "avatar" - a self-created virtual character who can sunbathe on a beach in a foreign land, start a business, go shopping for outlandish things or screw a stranger with a giant colourful penis outside his (or her) pants. Not only are avatars spending considerable chunks of real-life individuals' time -they're also making their way into wallets. In the last 24 hours alone, Second Life's website tally says over $1,000,000 US dollars have changed hands through the program.



The only way to check out Second Life is to get a (free) membership and create an avatar. So I did. Her name was Audrey Vacano, and she was a "city chick" (what? I only had a few prototypes to choose from, and considering one was a fox...like the animal...city chick sounded pretty alright). Once I edited her appearance to suit my taste, I realized she looked a lot like me, but with green eyes and bigger boobs. She was dressed awfully modestly for Second Life - many avatars, I quickly learned, wear leather, spikes, lingerie, the above mentioned prosthetic external genitalia, or nothing at all. A sign of what kinds of goings-ons are common in Second Life? Perhaps. Perhaps, if I were a good person, I would have bailed as soon as I had the chance. But curious as I am, I ventured on.

The program begins with a training world, designed to teach you how to walk, talk, fly (yes, you can fly), teleport, use items, etc. Impatient and insistent that I was NOT getting involved with Second Life beyond the role of curious observer and journalist, I skipped most of this. Which meant that once in the "real" program, I had a tendency to run into walls and get stuck desperately on the muddy bottoms of large, unidentified bodies of water. Once I accidentally took my shirt off while talking to some dude in fake Amsterdam. I was generally incompetent and pathetic. Maybe if I had a little more video game experience I would have been better off, but alas, I never was a video game nerd. It's too bad, really.

All of this to say Second Life is, as I should have realized, all about sex. Of course there are tons of places you can go that have nothing to do with sex - like parks, model airplane hangers and I love Jesus cafes...but generally, the mood is one of rebellious sexual freedom. It's all anonymous, virtual, perhaps a little careless.

Which brings us to the obvious question: is having sex with a virtual stranger cheating? I couldn't help but wonder what real-life dissatisfaction leads people to do these things. Are they having sex online because they have a hard time getting it in the real world, or are they in stale, unhappy relationships and are looking for relatively-harmless alternatives? If they are attached, what does their participation in Second Life mean? In an era of virtual reality, what constitutes adultery?

I didn't let myself ponder this question for too long. I deleted the damn because it plain freaked me out. Weird.